Come on.
[MUMBLING]
Hey! Hey!
Hey!
Come on!
[DOOR BELL BUZZING]
Coming.
Who's there?
-ED: It's me. -[SIGHS]
-How are you doing? -Well, come in.
I want to see some movies.
MARIE: So go to a theater.
Look, I'm going out.
I've got a date.
[CHUCKLES] Oh, you got a date?
Is that what they're calling it now?
Boy, she's really something, you know?
She's really a sweet kid.
MARIE: Look, I mean it, Ed.
You can't stay here. Not this time.
Take it easy.
Me and Marie, we're old friends.
Yeah, sure. Like every time the cops are after him.
Look, I told you, I just want to see a few movies.
There's no cops around,
so go get ready for your date.
Well, look, two movies, okay? And then out.
I might be bringing somebody back here later.
ED: Somebody hit the light.
[SWITCH CLICKS]
Want to make yourself useful?
[PUPPET GIBBERING ON TV]
What was it? What was it?
[CHEERING]
[MUMBLING]
KIDS: Yay!
[PUPPETS GIBBERING]
[KIDS CHEERING]
Where is it?
[KIDS CHEERING]
[INDISTINCT TALKING]
What was it? What was it?
[KIDS CHEERING]
[PUPPET BABBLING]
KIDS: Yes.
[PUPPET BABBLING]
Help, help, help, help.
[KIDS CHEERING]
LENA: How do you expect us to live on that?
Are you seeing these bills?
JACK: You've chipped a bit of paint off his nose, Lena.
Well, I'll chip a bit off your nose as well,
if you don't put those damn things down
and listen to me for once.
It's never going to happen for you.
You're a born loser, and you might as well face up to it,
children's entertainer.
[LAUGHING] It's my life.
Well, it's not going to be my life anymore, or Damien's.
I had a letter from Harry and Ruth asking us to join them in Canada.
Their business is doing very well out there,
and there's an opening for all of us.
You're thinking of going to Canada?
Not thinking, Jack.
I'm going with or without you.
Well, it's not just us, there's Damien to consider.
What prospects are there for him here?
He hasn't had a job since he left school a year ago.
But you can't expect me to leave all this behind now,
not after all these years. I mean, it's just...
Well...
It's sort of a part of me.
You come with us, Jack.
You burn them.
[SIGHS]
Hey,
when you pack in your Punch and Judith...
Will you let me be the one to set fire to it all?
Just eat your dinner and be quiet.
What's the matter? Trying to prove you're as tough as my old man was?
Except that he used to ride motor cars,
instead of playing with dolls.
I told you to shut up, didn't I?
Stop picking on him, Jack.
Would you like some more peas, dear?
[SQUEAKING]
[KNOCKING]
[MUMBLING]
What do you think you're trying to do?
-Scared of me? -Your face, Mr. Grimshaw.
-Now look... -Uh-oh, naughty, naughty.
Lose your temper at me and I'll tell mom.
Jack?
It's all right, Lena.
You go back to sleep.
[PUPPET GIBEBRING]
[KIDS CHEERING]
PUPPET: Was he hurting the baby?
KIDS: Yes.
[PUPPET GIBBERING]
KIDS: Oh, yes, you did.
PUPPET: Well, I didn't get up here quick enough.
If he does that again, you let me know.
I'll try and catch him next time. I won't be long.
-Bye-bye. -KIDS: Bye-bye.
I said, bye-bye.
KIDS: Bye-bye.
[PUPPET GIBBERING]
PUPPET: Stupid. Eh, stupid.
[PUPPETS GIBBERING]
[KIDS LAUGHING]
[PUPPET LAUGHING]
PUPPET: The end of our Punch & Judy Show. Hope you've enjoyed it.
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
KIDS: Bye-bye.
PUPPET: Bye-bye. KIDS: Bye-bye.
[ALL LAUGHING]
SUZY: Oh, look at him.
[INAUDIBLE]
[CONTINUES LAUGHING]
SUZY: Oh, look at him.
I'm sorry, you kids.
[GRUNTING]
Damien, what do you think you're doing?
-Oh, give it... -Hey, nice catch.
Give that to me.
I said give it to me.
-I said give it to me. -Oh, yeah.
You'll damage it.
Damien.
Now look, Damien, I'm warning you.
Warning me? Okay.
-Give me that doll. -Okay.
Give me that doll.
[GRUNTING]
Do you want to know something? I hate you.
I've always hated you, you and your bleeding puppets.
Oh, you think I want you to come to Canada with us?
Why do I want a feeble old fart like you around?
What have you ever been to me?
-Damien. -Introduce me to some bleeding puppets of yours.
That's all you've ever cared about, so fuck you!
Burn it.
Burn that fucking thing.
I said burn it!
No!
[SEAGULLS SQUAWKING]
So what's bugging you? Come on.
What do you think?
-I mean, I know he's only your stepfather but... -So?
Well, so, you don't do that kind of thing.
I mean, you just don't.
Listen, don't start giving me all that moral crap.
And you don't know him.
You haven't had to live with him like I have.
You don't know what we've been through all these years.
I'm telling you, he's crazy.
But what you did to him today...
He's been asking for it.
All he cares about, all he's ever cared about is his puppets.
No one matters to him. He's never given a sod about me.
I should have been born a puppet.
I don't like you when you're like this.
So piss off then.
Is that what you want? You want me to piss off?
What are you talking about?
I just reckon anyone who can do what you did to his own father
need his head seen too.
Hey, Suzy!
Suzy!
Oh, fuck it.
[SIGHS]
Brought you a cup of tea.
Don't leave me, Lena, please.
Don't, Jack.
I told you I'm going.
You never did understand, did you?
Don't you stare at me like that, you puppet.
[SEAGULLS SQUAWKING]
[DOG BARKING]
[GRUNTING]
[CONTINUES BARKING]
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
Hello?
Who?
Oh, Suzy.
No, Damien, isn't in yet.
Right.
I'll tell him, dear.
Bye-bye.
That was Suzy.
I told her Damien wasn't home yet.
She's going to call around in the morning.
Are you going to sit there and sulk all night?
I told you, you've only yourself to blame for what happened.
Don't expect any sympathy for me.
It's Damien I feel sorry for.
You always do.
Well, someone's got to.
When have you taken any trouble with him?
Oh, for God sake.
Oh, when?
It's always left to me to cope.
What kind of father have you ever tried to be to him?
What kind of husband have you ever tried to be to me?
And don't walk away when I'm talking to you!
I just phoned Nigel to see if he was around there.
He hasn't seen him all evening.
[SIGHS] I know what he's like when he gets in a mood.
Staying out all night, getting himself drunk.
I don't understand you.
You don't care about anyone, do you?
Well, I've got different ways of showing my feelings, that's all.
All right. If you really care for me, you'll get rid of them.
Don't ask me, Lena.
I mean it, Jack.
It's them or me.
Lena.
Damn you, Jack.
Damn your puppets.
You want me, you chop them out.
All of them, right now.
MR. PUNCH: Jack.
JACK: Mr. Punch?
Mr. Punch?
[CREAKING]
[WHISPERING]
[CREAKING]
Jack?
[DOOR CREAKING]
[SCREAMING]
[GRUNTING]
[STOPS SCREAMING]
JACK: Lena?
[DOORBELL RINGING]
Mr. Grimshaw,
-you said it was your wife? -Yeah.
Upstairs.
Have the police been called?
No.
It's all right, Mr. Grimshaw. Just leave it to me.
-No, you don't understand, doctor. -You might have to
-come downstairs. -I'll give you something to...
No, they...
No, they'll think it was me.
They'll think I'm mad.
-No, I'm sure not. -No, you see I know who did do it.
I know, I know. I heard his voice.
Well then, all you have to do is, tell the police.
No, let me explain to you, doctor. You see,
it could have killed Damien as well.
It's first, the baby, and then it's Judy.
Judy?
My wife, Lena.
He's here somewhere.
I know he's here. He must be hiding.
He knows what he's done. You see, it's first the baby,
and then it's Judy, and then next it's always the doctor.
Mr. Grimshaw, I really do think
you might let me give you something.
You just lie back, try to relax.
[SWITCH CLICKS]
Mr. Grimshaw?
[TELEPHONE DIALING]
[EXHALES]
[SOFTLY] Bastard.
[SCREAMING]
[MUMBLING]
[GRUNTS]
[PUPPET SCREAMING]
[GRUNTING]
That's the way to do it. That's the way. That's the way.
That's the way to do it.
[PUPPET LAUGHING]
[MUMBLING]
That's the way to do it. That's the way.
[GASPING]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
That's the way.
[LAUGHING] That's the way to do it.
That's the way. That's the way.
That's the way. Oh!
Oh!
That's the way to do it.
[LAUGHING]
♪ Go to sleep, little baby
♪ You're so pretty always
♪ What a pity
[LAUGHING]
[DOORBELL BUZZING]
Damien?
Mrs. Grimshaw?
Hello?
Mrs. Grimshaw?
[SCREAMS]
[SCREAMING]
[MUMBLING]
[JACK MUMBLING]
[CLATTER]
JACK: Over here.
[SCREAMING]
[PUPPET BABBLING]
[GRUNTS]
[SCREAMING]
Hmm...
Damn, British movies.
I can tell by the way they talk.
Oh, I got to go get dressed.
-[SIGHS] -Hey, she's really great.
What does she do for a living?
Oh, don't ask.
[MUSIC PLAYING IN TV]
[SWITCH CLICKS]
No, Tony, I'm tired.
Oh, tired.
Please, Tony, not tonight.
[CLEARS THROAT]
I'm sorry.
So, am I.
[SIGHS]
Tony?
Hmm?
Darling?
What?
Tony?
Hmm?
I suppose this is very silly.
Mmm. Mmm.
But I think we've got mice.
Oh, for God's sake.
That's still no reason to blame your father, dear.
Mother, nothing's finished.
Everything was supposed to be finished by the time we got back.
Don't be so ungrateful, Anthony.
After all it was our wedding present to you both.
Wedding present?
It was just dad offloading property you couldn't get a good market price for.
That's beside the point.
TONY: Look, mother, I'm not ungrateful.
But I did at least expect the place to be habitable by the time we moved in.
There is such a thing as do it yourself, you know.
SUZY: Who's the boy out there on a bicycle?
Oh, he's gone now.
Gee, it doesn't surprise me, that's what boys are like.
No consideration.
Why I ever gave birth to one I shall never know.
Take my advice, dear, when it's your turn, stick to girls.
Much better.
-Instant hot water. -Great.
At least the plumber knew what he was doing.
Nothing can be safe with my dad's builders.
Oh, shit.
[SIGHS] Wait here.
I'll see if I can fix it.
SUSAN: Do you know where the fuse box is?
TONY: Well, I'll find it.
SUSAN: There's a torch over by the sink in the kitchen.
No, I think it's all right
-[THUDS] -[TONY GRUNTING]
Are you okay?
TONY: Bloody stupid place to put a door.
[WATER RUNNING]
[TURNS OFF]
[CREAKING]
Tony, is that you?
Tony?
[WATER RUNNING]
So who's the genius then?
Not the plumber, that's for certain.
Why?
The water, it was all red.
Probably rust.
Tell me.
You hurry up and have your bath
and I'll warm up the bed.
[CLATTER]
SUZY: Tony?
Oh, not more, damn mice.
No, listen.
-Tony? -Oh, come, on, Sue.
-There's someone downstairs. -[SIGHS]
Oh, if they can find anything worth stealing,
as far as I'm concerned, they're more than welcome to it.
Please, Tony.
But, it's... [SIGHS]
Oh, bloody bulb.
[THUDDING]
Oh, for God's sake.
[TONY GRUNTING]
[DOOR CLOSING]
[CREAKING]
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
Tony?
[SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING] Stop it!
Fucking I hate you, I hate you!
Well, it serves you right for coming out of bed.
Oh, look, Sue, I'm sorry.
-[DOOR CLOSING] -I'm sorry.
I really am.
Sue?
Sue, open the door.
-Let me in Sue, come on. -[KNOCKING ON THE DOOR]
Now, come on, don't be silly.
Open the door. Susan?
[ENGINE STARTS]
[CREAKING]
Tony?
Tony, wake up.
-Listen. -[MUMBLES]
Oh, Sue, for God's sake.
Downstairs, didn't you hear it?
-Hear what? -There's someone downstairs, I heard it.
Oh, not another burglar.
Oh, God.
Tony.
Be careful.
[CREAKING]
[GASPING]
No!
No! No! No!
-Susan, for God's sake. -[GASPS] Oh, Tony.
-What is it? -A man, he...
-A man? What man? -A man, I...
There was no one there.
[SOBBING] Out there, I saw him.
-Sue, there's no one there. -There was.
I saw him. Oh, God.
[SOBBING]
Listen, I've been downstairs and there's no one there.
I saw him.
He was... he had a knife
and he came right out in front of me and he...
I didn't, no.
[SOBBING]
Okay.
Look, first thing in the morning,
I'll get in touch with the police, all right?
Okay? Now don't worry.
We'll keep the bedroom door locked until then.
There you go.
Feeling safer now?
What a way to spend the weekend, changing all the locks.
Tony, I've been thinking,
it could've been one of the builders.
I mean, they must have keys.
Yeah, maybe.
Don't you think we ought to tell the police?
Look, if you want to pester them, okay.
But I'm not making a fool of myself again.
Now, I think I'll start working the garden.
Are you sure it was? I mean, how do you know it was blood?
I don't know but it was red and sticky and...
That's odd.
Maybe it was further down.
You said you got it on your hands.
Perhaps it came off.
I don't understand it.
Well, I can't see any blood,
just plain commoner garden banister.
I didn't imagine it, really I didn't!
Tony.
Hmm?
You did lock up properly, didn't you?
Yes, darling.
There's nowhere he could be hiding, is there?
-Like in the attic. -Look Susan,
you know the police had been through the house from top to bottom.
Goodnight.
Tony?
Hmm?
You still love me, don't you?
Of course, I do.
[GASPING]
[SOFTLY] What's the matter?
[BOY SCREAMING]
BOY: Help!
[SCREAMING]
[GRUNTING]
[TAPPING]
[STAIRS CREAKING]
-[BOY SCREAMS] -[GASPS]
[SIGHS]
-[GRUNTING] -[SCREAMS]
Darling, I'm home.
Sue,
are you upstairs?
Sue?
Are you all right, darling?
Yes, fine.
Just sorting through a few things.
Oh!
I assume a bit later, I bumped in to Reverend Peters on the way home.
He said he was sending a Miss Burns around to see you tomorrow morning at 11:00.
What's all that about, then?
Just a coffee morning.
Well, you want me to get to know people, don't you?
Neighbors and people in the district?
-Yeah. Yes, of course. -Well then.
Dinner won't be long.
Who's this Miss Burns then?
I still think you should've told your husband.
SUSAN: He doesn't believe in things like ghosts.
Oh, don't worry dear, they're my trouble, I'm used to skeptics.
Some people are funny like that.
Can't think why.
If you don't find anything here,
then that means it's all in my head, doesn't it?
Oh, come on now.
What is it that you're called where you're given to hallucinations?
There's a name for it.
A special term they use for that particular kind of madness.
In my profession it's called second sight.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...
Shall we get started?
And this sort of thing has never happened to you before,
-seeing things, visions, hearing noises? -Never.
You may have the gift without being aware of it.
Often happens, you know.
How many figures, different figures that is, have you seen so far?
Well, there was a man with a knife,
-the burglar, at least that's what I thought he was. -Quite.
There was a young boy, I've seen him lot of times.
Yes, children are very good like that.
-I have a little girl called Alice. -Oh, really?
Raped and strangled in 1876.
Can't keep her away seances,
she loves them, pops up all the time.
SUSAN: Then there was the older boy
and the man in bed that I told you about
and what sounded like a girl screaming.
Most interesting.
Do you know anything about the house?
Does it have a history of violence?
Not that I know of.
Hmm, something we ought to look into. Don't you think so?
Oh, yes.
Nothing to be afraid of, you know?
Some of my best friends are ghosts.
[SIGHS]
Well, my dear whatever it is you've been experiencing,
there's nothing here now quite definitely.
If there had been, it would've come through.
But I did see them. The boy and...
Oh, I don't doubt you my dear, not for an instant.
All I'm saying is if there has been anything, it's gone now.
No, there's nothing here now.
I'd stake my reputation on it.
How nice of you to drive me home, much appreciated.
I'll send you my account in due course.
So nice to have met you.
Don't worry dear, it's a nice house.
Good vibrations.
I'll just drop her off then I'll be straight back.
You're going to be okay?
I shan't be long.
I know it's really none of my business Mr. Kingsley,
but has your wife thought of seeing a doctor?
A psychiatrist?
[SCOFFS] For want of a better word.
You mean, you think she's sick?
Just a thought.
[ENGINE STARTING]
[WATER RUNNING]
[CLATTER]
[CREAKING]
[SCRATCHING]
[MEOWING]
[GRUNTING]
[SWITCH CLICKS]
[SCREAMS]
Mom?
DANNY: Help, help, please, help, help.
[SCREAMING] Help, help.
Please stop it.
Stop it, help, help!
Help! Help! Help!
Please, help me. [SCREAMING]
[GRUNTING]
[SOBBING]
[CRASHING]
[GASPS]
[GRUNTING]
[SCREAMING]
[CHOCKING]
[GASPING]
[GROANING]
[SOBBING]
And if there's anything else at all that you've left behind,
please don't hesitate to get in touch.
No, I'm sure this is the only thing.
Well, I'm glad to see that you've settled in okay, better than we did anyway.
How is your wife?
It must've been awful shock coming back and finding her like that.
I went to visit her and Sunday and, uh, well I don't know.
She seem to recognize me but the doctor say it will be quite some time yet.
Yes.
I had an aunt who had a nervous breakdown, very sad.
Yes. Well...
I'm sorry you couldn't meet my husband
because I explained before, he's in bed with flu
and there's so much to be done.
You seem to have some help anyway.
My son Alan, he's home from University.
At least that means I can get some help with the decorating.
-[HONKING] -Danny.
Time to come in.
Well, I'm sure you'll be happy here. Goodbye.
[ENGINE STARTS]
[ENGINE REVS]
[MUFFLED SCREAMING]
[ENGINE STOPS]
[EXHALES] Pretty good, huh?
Not that I get scared or nothing
'cause I know they're just actors with stories.
Why don't you go see if Marie's got any cigarettes?
Yeah, let me go check.
You know what this is called? Garden of Blood.
Well, Ed sent me in for some...
-Hi. -What kept you?
[WHIRRING ON TV]
[ANNOUNCER TALKING INDISTINCTLY ON TV]
He's getting ready to go after all.
Now that's on the first hill, on the first bend.
[ANNOUNCER CONTINUES TALKING]
[MOTORCYCLE ENGINE REVVING]
Participants for the next round. Next junior race.
[ENGINE REVVING]
Good luck!
[ANNOUNCER TALKING INDISTINCTLY]
[CONTINUES TALKING]
Well, what was the trouble then, Gav?
Bloody engine overheat again.
Tim. Tim.
Look at him, bloody brother of mine.
Gav, tell him to get his ass over here and give us a hand.
Didn't sign good, Gav?
Of course, it didn't, you prat. The engine seized up.
That's going to cost a packet.
You and your cheap bloody oil.
Hey, why so balmy? Gav, you said so yourself.
Yeah, look what it has done to my bike.
You worked right, Gav.
Yeah, just like Evel Knievel.
Here, you ladies! Give him a hand with that bike.
REPORTER: 400 children are being bused across the river
from Bethnal Green to West Greenwich
because of an asbestos scare at their school.
Teachers at Daneford Comprehensive wouldn't take classes
in the old block until the panels containing asbestos are removed.
And on East London River, feminist publishers
may be prosecuted over a sex book for children.
Mary Whitehouse is urging the Attorney General Sir Michael Havers...
GAVIN: I tell you, if I don't get that money in the next couple of weeks,
I'm going to miss the trials next month.
Maybe if I find out, Greg.
How can you? He's inside.
Yeah. Well, I was just thinking.
Well, don't. You never were very good at it.
I was only trying to be helpful.
Well, if you want to help, make that tea.
There's no milk.
Well, coffee, then.
What's wrong with coffee for Christ's sake?
God.
Cain...
What if he can help me?
Forget it, I'm already paying you too much as it is.
Well, how about an advance, then?
Already have one.
Well, what if I come in and work on Saturdays?
And what am I supposed to say to Charlie? Give him the push?
Just because you've suddenly decided you want to work weekends.
I gave you that option when you were first here.
You were the one that refused to work Saturdays
so you could prance about on your motorbike.
Sorry, Gavin,
-the simple answer is no. -[TELEPHONE RINGING]
Hello, Alex's Men's Wear.
I've told you before about having personal calls here, it's your brother.
Hello, Tim?
You know what we were talking about last night?
Well, I've been looking.
Here, listen to this...
"Wanted general gardener and handyman for weekend work."
Oh, leave off, Tim.
I mean, what's that going to pay?
It says here it's good money, expenses...
And there's an address, too.
Yeah, okay, Tim.
Look, I appreciate it.
It's just, look, I'll find you later, all right?
You know, if I didn't work here Saturdays,
I could've gone after that.
I don't know why I bother sometimes.
Yeah, I know what you mean.
Listen, if you need the money that desperately,
why don't you sell your car?
[CHUCKLES] Have you seen it?
You could finish off.
How much is it you need?
About 400, a bit less maybe.
If you can guarantee to pay me back, say,
£40 a week, I'll lend it you.
Oh, well, thanks.
I will pay you back.
Here, I've just got to make a call.
[DIALING]
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
Hello? Oh, hi, how are you?
Yeah, hang on. I'll get him.
Tim, it's your brother.
Hello, Gav.
Oh, you've changed your mind, then, have you?
[CHUCKLES]
Hold on, I'll get the address.
[ENGINE TURNS OFF]
[DOOR CREAKING]
Oh, hello...
I came about the job in the newspaper.
Oh, yes, Mr. Martin.
Do come in, won't you?
Oh, Mildred dear,
this nice young man has come in reply to our advertisement.
Oh, perfectly splendid.
I'm Mildred Hurley.
You've already met Emma, of course.
Gavin Martin.
Delighted to make your acquaintance, Mr. Martin.
Do please make yourself comfortable.
Would you care for some tea?
Uh! Thanks, I will.
It's a nice place you got here.
Yes.
The oldest part goes back to the 16th century.
That's Tudor, you know?
MILDRED: Of course, it's been modernized since.
EMMA: Oh, Mrs. Harlett,
this is Mr. Martin.
He's come in answer to our advertisement.
And we thought a pot of tea
and some of your delicious hot scones would be rather nice.
Right.
Mrs. Harlett cleans for us, you know, doesn't she, Mildred?
Every Tuesday and Thursday.
She's from the village.
Her husband's on the other side.
The other side of what?
He's passed on, dear.
Oh, you mean he's dead?
We don't believe in death, Mr. Martin.
What about the job?
Such a pretty young man, don't you agree, Mildred?
Oh, indeed, Emma.
I think he'll be most acceptable.
Oh, yes, they'll like him.
No doubt you wish to speak to us about the remuneration.
I must confess, Mr. Martin,
both Emma and I are rather out of touch
with the present amounts paid for such work.
Well, it's quite a lot these days.
Oh, dear.
I do hate having to discuss money.
Would you, Emma dear?
Oh, no, Mildred, you're so much better at it than I am.
Well, uh...
Would £25 a day be considered too much of an insult?
Cash?
Oh, we never pay any other way.
We don't believe in banks, do we, Mildred?
MILDRED: No.
Of course, apart from being general handyman about the house,
we would expect you to attend to the upkeep of the garden.
Oh, well, it's no problem.
Not that it'll need much attention. The fairies see to that.
We have fairies at the bottom of the garden.
MILDRED: Do you believe in fairies, Mr. Martin?
Well, I saw the gnomes.
Oh, gnomes are just simple workers.
But one must respect the workers, mustn't one?
GAVIN: Fucking thing.
Oh, Mr. Martin, that's not very nice.
Listen, I'm sorry about that.
So, anyway, I'm nearly finished.
I did tell you the garden needs very little attention.
Oh, yeah, I remember you saying the fairies, right.
They looked after this house for generations, isn't that true, Mildred?
Absolutely, Emma.
They are a bit like spoiled children.
Humor them up and they'll do anything for you.
That's true.
But upset them and they can be very spiteful.
They can be very obliging.
No, listen, me and your fairies, I promise you,
are going to get on a treat.
EMMA: That's Lady Ann Hurley and that's her lost lover.
Well, it's very interesting.
Legend has it that she made a secret pact with the fairies.
She had infidelities, you know.
-MILDRED: Several of them. -Really?
EMMA: Shocking when you consider she was a married woman.
Well, that was the pact she made
that the fairies would make sure
that her husband never discovered
that she had a whole string of young lovers.
And do you know, he never did.
Sounds like she had it made to me.
What he did discover, however,
was all their dead bodies buried in the grounds.
Fairies do have a wicked sense of humor, you know.
She was executed for murder, of course.
Her last lover died in terrible agony, they do say.
Yes, but then fairies are like that, aren't they, Emma dear?
EMMA: [CHUCKLES] Love to see we humans suffer.
MILDRED: Perhaps to keep them amused, you know.
And that was the arrangement.
All her dead lovers became their slaves.
Well, this is all very interesting,
but let's have a look at that window you want fixed.
Well, how was that?
That's so much better. Thank you.
Well, I think it's time I should be leaving now.
-Oh, yes. -I mean, it's after 5:00.
Yes, but I'll get your money for you.
You're not thinking of robbing the place, are you?
Gav?
Gavin?
Shut up.
-I'm switching the light out. -[SWITCH CLICKS]
I'm thinking.
Are you?
[WHISPERING] Gav...
Where did they bury the bodies then?
Are we going to rob this place or do you want a guided tour?
Give me that torch.
Right, you get in there and start in the silver.
We're going upstairs.
[CLOCK TICKING]
[CLOCK CHIMES]
[WHISPERING]
[CREAKING]
Shh.
What's that?
Nothing. Come on.
[CREAKING]
[CHANDELIER CLANKING]
FRANK: Fuck me.
Shh.
Get a rope...
-Frank? -Yeah.
Doesn't matter.
-How's it going? -Okay.
-Where's that rope? -In the bag.
[GASPING] Shit.
You nearly gave me a heart attack.
Sorry, Gav.
Gav?
What?
Come on.
[THUDS]
[GNOMES LAUGHING]
[MUFFLED SCREAMING]
[CHOKING]
[BOTH GRUNTING]
[SIGHING]
God.
[GRUNTS]
Sorry, Gav.
We're going to have a rest.
Yeah, it's hard work robbing houses.
[SIGHS]
Wonder where Tim's got to.
Wait here.
[CREAKING]
[SOFTLY] Tim.
Tim. Psst, Tim.
[HOOTING]
[CHIMES]
[HOOTING]
[SCREAMING]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
[SCREAMING]
[CLATTER]
[WIND GUSHING]
[CLINKS]
[WIND GUSHING]
[FRANK GROANS]
[GROANING]
[GASPING]
Nice place you've got here.
Thank you, Mr. Cross, was it?
Our last gardener, he, um, disappeared.
Yes, the police were most perplexed.
Oops. Oh, really?
I told them before not to come into the house.
[TONGUE CLICKS]
This is one of our more infamous ancestors.
And this was her last lover.
She made a contract with the fairies
that they could have the souls of her dead lovers as slaves.
Do you believe in fairies?
Do I believe in fairies?
[CHOCKING]
-What's that? -It's nothing.
[PUPPET SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
[CONTINUOUS SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
[PUPPET SINGING]